Rules girls should know about Guys

[Smoked]

2. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us, we refuse to answer.

3. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down, we put it up without complaining.

4. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

5. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!

6. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

7. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

8. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

9. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

10. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

11. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

12. Shopping is not a sport.

13. Anything you wear is fine. Really, you look fine.

14. You have enough clothes.

15. You have too many shoes.

16. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

17. Your brother is an idiot, you ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.

18. Subtle hints don't work, Major hints dont work, just Ask for what you want and we will get it.

19. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

20. Yes, ****ing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

21. Most guys own two or three pairs of shoes -- What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

22. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers, Please choose one.

23. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

24. Your Mum doesn't have to be our best friend.

25. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

26. Tell us the moment your car makes a strange noise.

27. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

28. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

29. It is neither in your best intrest or ours to take the quiz together.

30. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

31. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

32. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

33. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.

35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

37. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.

39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazine.

40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

41. Stop complaining im not in shape, i am, round is a shape.

42. We are not psychic, dont think our lack of psychic ability means we dont care.

43. Telling us you are fine, when you are clearly are not, and then expecting us to continue caring isnt fair. We choose to leave you alone because it is easier.

44. I know these rules will mean im sleeping on the couch tonight, but thats ok, its like camping, and i like camping.

AND FINALLY, THE NUMBER ONE RULE:
1. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.