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The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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#1 | ||
KillerXR8
![]() Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Mid North Coast
Posts: 2,085
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TAKE IT OFF
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ar$e is mine." He lost 63 pounds that week!!
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FULL X-FORCE STAINLESS EXHAUST,HERROD HP CAMS,YELLA TERRA PLENUM, GT 500 TWIN 60MM THROTTLE BODY,GT AIRBOX,K&N FILTER,ZF TUNE,CUSTOM TUNE,8" BOSTON ACCOUSTIC SUB,SONY AMP,AUTO METER D-PIC GAUGE,INNOVATE WIDEBAND AFR GAUGE,CUSTOM GAUGE HOLDER FROM STAV AT STINGRAY, KINGS SUPER LOWS,20 x 8 FPV DARK ARGENT REPLICA'S,BLACK TINT,CUSTOM MATT BLACK DECALS 2009 TWEEKD FG XR8 IN SILHOUETTE all mods done by Walter Markham from Oztek Performance
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#2 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 575
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owned
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#3 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,252
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Lmfao!
Pwnz0rd
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TE cortina 14.0 @ 101mph E32 740iL Leather, sound system, rollin' on 19's |
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#4 | ||
...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,046
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I think it was this guy...
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#5 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Canberra
Posts: 13,393
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LMFAO
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#6 | ||
The Duke
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Central Coast NSW
Posts: 1,441
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Homo-hilarious.
Joolz, yours are the funniest jokes ever.
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http://www.bseries.com.au/duke |
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#7 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Kilsyth
Posts: 472
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ROFL great
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#8 | |||
KillerXR8
![]() Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Mid North Coast
Posts: 2,085
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Quote:
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FULL X-FORCE STAINLESS EXHAUST,HERROD HP CAMS,YELLA TERRA PLENUM, GT 500 TWIN 60MM THROTTLE BODY,GT AIRBOX,K&N FILTER,ZF TUNE,CUSTOM TUNE,8" BOSTON ACCOUSTIC SUB,SONY AMP,AUTO METER D-PIC GAUGE,INNOVATE WIDEBAND AFR GAUGE,CUSTOM GAUGE HOLDER FROM STAV AT STINGRAY, KINGS SUPER LOWS,20 x 8 FPV DARK ARGENT REPLICA'S,BLACK TINT,CUSTOM MATT BLACK DECALS 2009 TWEEKD FG XR8 IN SILHOUETTE all mods done by Walter Markham from Oztek Performance
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#9 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,728
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haha funny stuff
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#10 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,078
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lol, thats great.
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#11 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Victoria
Posts: 384
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#12 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: perth
Posts: 4,355
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mop up in my longe room
thats such a s!55er so funny
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yes still (as money n time permit) doing the rebuilding the zh fairlane with a clevo 400m 4v heads injected whipple blown with aode 4 speed trans to a 9" ....... we'll get there eventually just remember don't be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark...Professionals built the Titanic! I have taken up meditation... at least it's better than sitting around doing nothing !! |
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#13 | ||
proud member of the MFCC
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,958
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lol that is so funny ! i need that programme i think lol ! where is thte number lol
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#14 | ||
Barra Turbo > V8
![]() ![]() Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 25,806
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Lmfao
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-2011 XR6 Turbo Ute - Lux Pack - M6 -2022 Hyundai Tucson Highlander Diesel N Line |
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#15 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: sydney.nsw.au
Posts: 6,119
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haha that's gold!
although if he was a real aussie he woulda figured out the trick, called his mate robo, and on the 3rd day he runs her into the path of robos paddy wagon, happy endings follow
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flickr |
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#16 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Cattai, Sydney
Posts: 7,701
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ive heard it before somewhere but its a timeless joke, and a very good one at that!
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1992 EBII Fairmont Ghia 4.0l <---Click for the Gallery! Insta@mooneye_ghia White on bright red smoothies with thick whitewalls. Cruising around to some rockabilly |
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#17 | ||
OCD keeps me busy...
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 944
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Brilliant
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