[noddy383]

I'm lucky enough to have a supportive family, I fell into a uni degree that I liked which lead to a career I love that pays a decent wage, so materialistically I'm set. Now I just have to sort out those things normal people have, whatchacall'em, emotions.

Sam, You sound like you're doing the right thing, even if all you can do at the moment is to make sure things don't go too far astray for you, your wife and the kids. Congratulations on getting in a date night.
In regards to the care situation, it can be tricky when classifying potential residents for care. My folks had great trouble with my dad's father as he was a little too well for high care, but not quite sprightly enough mentally to cope with low care. On top of the actual classification, there are also different payment regimes of each in terms of big upfront deposit vs smaller ongoing payments. I don't disagree that it is probably easier to sell up the property and set her up financially for care for life. Having experienced it with both my grandfathers, if she's willing to accept it, it can be much better for all concerned.

I have a friend who used to feel bad for being sad because there were people worse off than her. I reminded her that that's like not allowing yourself to be happy because there are people who are better off than you.
Be happy, be sad, be whatever feels right at the time, but don't forget to look ahead and try to make tomorrow a little better than today.