Ungrateful people

[XR6Stu]

Jesus ungrateful really P&&S me off! Ive spent the last 6 months straightening out and giving a general tidy up to some close friends daughters car, for only the cost of the materials, $700, and they are whingeing and moaning and complaining like there is no tomorrow! As from now, I am not doing any more work for friends, because all you get in ungrateful cr@p in return. Sorry, but damn Im angry. Its getting a full respray and has had every panel repaired, work which would in general cost $3000 or so all up. The panel work would be be around $1400-ish. VERY DISSAPOINTED!

[LUXO_8]

yeah that sucks for sure......

im having a good friend build me an engine, as im doing it with spare cash, its taken a long time to get it built, but he's being very patient, im not paying any labour, just giving him my old engine for him to rebuild for himself as payment, which he's cool with..

but i feel like im cheating him, theres easily 2-3k worth of labour involved, as well as the time its taking sitting hn the corner of his shed, so i'll be giving him a bunch of cash and alcohol on top of the old engine for labour....

now, you should explain to this family friend what they're getting for their 700 bucks worth, is infact 3-4000 bucks worth of work, and if they dont like it perhaps they should take it elsewhere.....

[XR6Stu]

Yeah Ive already explained all that, but apparently Im being "bloody ridiculous", and as for taking it elsewhere, ther work is already done and completed. Im pretty close to just returning the car as is, and letting them organise someone to paint it, and let them put it all back together again. Sorry to whinge on the forums, but its a bit like family here, and damn Im annoyed. And I gotta be honest... theyre off the Christmas Card List!

[toyotaxr8]

always easy to put the car back to the way you received it :dr_Evil:

[Casper]

Originally Posted by XR6Stu

Yeah Ive already explained all that, but apparently Im being "bloody ridiculous", and as for taking it elsewhere, ther work is already done and completed. Im pretty close to just returning the car as is, and letting them organise someone to paint it, and let them put it all back together again. Sorry to whinge on the forums, but its a bit like family here, and damn Im annoyed. And I gotta be honest... theyre off the Christmas Card List!

just return the car as it is now and tell them that they are obviously unhappy with the work you have done and that you are no longer able to continue.. end of problem.

[JC]

Why is this in the AU section. Casper - Pub/Bar it please.

[Blue Oval Mopar Man]

XR6Stu, i feel ya mate ! I am in the same game , and have had the same experience with helping out freinds! I dont do it anymore , and if they want cheap they get it ! I will not do things dirt cheap as because people always want to complain about things and I am tired of giving others what they want while i dont get any or much benifit from the job myself !

From now on, if I dont make a profit I am happy with, the job can be done by someone else ! No one gives me a break with the price of goods or services, so I dont give anymore either !

[Billy351]

Really, some people have no idea of the work involved in painting a car. I have just spent most of this week fixing the wife's car after she did enough damage to the front to write it off had it been comprehensively insured. Her cost, $250 for parts from the wreckers (bonnet, headlights grille front bar etc). All she can do is now is whinge that she has to get the air con regassed. Painting to come on a nice sunny day, if she is nicer to me.

[DOC]

Originally Posted by XR6Stu

Jesus ungrateful really P&&S me off! Ive spent the last 6 months straightening out and giving a general tidy up to some close friends daughters car, for only the cost of the materials, $700, and they are whingeing and moaning and complaining like there is no tomorrow! As from now, I am not doing any more work for friends, because all you get in ungrateful cr@p in return. Sorry, but damn Im angry. Its getting a full respray and has had every panel repaired, work which would in general cost $3000 or so all up. The panel work would be be around $1400-ish. VERY DISSAPOINTED!

Sure it must pee you off, and it's just not cars, this would apply to anything, but guess what you probably will help the next person and you may get another kick in the guts, but one day you help the right person who will really appreciate it. Just remember when ou offer to help people it is done with no expectation of reward and can and does come with a kick in the bum every now and then.

Part of my mission statement used to read " to help people less fortunate than myself" but like ou i got kicked in the guts most times, and i most cases ( after a while i learnt ) these people just used the kindness of others or were to lazy, so i changed it to " to help others less fortunate than myself in genuine need " it helped to weed a few out but you still get the odd person who throws it back at you, but regardless soldier on for the one good complimenteven though your not looking for it.

[Justin@]

I feel for you mate, i have had the same thing happen to me a few times. Now i just let it go, if they start whingeing just tell em to **** off. Sometimes there is just no helping people.

[98fairmont]

Have to agree, this sort of stuff is a real pain.

Slightly different context but I used to always be the one who would organise group presents for people's birthdays etc. But after spending the time going and buying the present I'd then find I'd have to spend even more time chasing people up for money and half the time there would be a shortfall in the end anyway. And this is with friends!

Now I'm quite happy to sit back and let other people organise.

[poolkeeper]

wat r they complaining about??

[old_mate]

lol i dont so any work for anyone until the material is at least paid for, then i make sure we have a good understanding of what i want in return. Then just before i get another mate to inspect, test and commision my work (being an apprentice) I ask for payment. Otherwise, it doesnt get hooked up.

Havent had an issue yet

Mum makes me work for free but :(

[Laminge]

Originally Posted by D1XR2C

wat r they complaining about??

If they where reading this forum it would most likely be because you left out the H and AE

[XAGSV8]

I know how you feel mate. I used to be a computer tech and was used and abused by friends and some extended family. I would often fix things for nothing but they would often complain if it was not done in their time frame. I got to the point of if you want it done for free I will do it when I'm ready. That was not good enough so if somebody asks me these days I say no unless it is my mother in law or my parents.

As per the question above, what is their problem?

[Auslandau]

doing work for family and friends ...... not good unless the guidelines are clear from the start. I have a good mate who does my body/mech work and I pay him to do it. If there is a problem we talk about it as paying customer and so forth. But it can cause problems when money is involved. We both know what it will cost .... to a resonable amount and discuss what the out come should be way before anything is ever touched. Plent of discusion before and during......



| [/url] |

[falzoony]

You know the saying 'A Friend in need is a friend indeed'?
It should go
'A friend in need is a pain in the @ss'.

[The Yeti]

Originally Posted by XR6Stu

Jesus ungrateful really P&&S me off! Ive spent the last 6 months straightening out and giving a general tidy up to some close friends daughters car, for only the cost of the materials, $700, and they are whingeing and moaning and complaining like there is no tomorrow! As from now, I am not doing any more work for friends, because all you get in ungrateful cr@p in return. Sorry, but damn Im angry. Its getting a full respray and has had every panel repaired, work which would in general cost $3000 or so all up. The panel work would be be around $1400-ish. VERY DISSAPOINTED!

I have lernt long ago that the jobs where you try and help some one are the ones that give you the most greif

[Bill M]

Ahh yes the love job! Most people who want something done for peanuts are USERS. They think they are doing you a favour by giving you the work. As a tradie it pays to be very selective who you do favours for. A lesson learned!
cheers
Bill.

[FRDGAL]

Originally Posted by XR6Stu

Jesus ungrateful really P&&S me off! Ive spent the last 6 months straightening out and giving a general tidy up to some close friends daughters car, for only the cost of the materials, $700, and they are whingeing and moaning and complaining like there is no tomorrow! As from now, I am not doing any more work for friends, because all you get in ungrateful cr@p in return. Sorry, but damn Im angry. Its getting a full respray and has had every panel repaired, work which would in general cost $3000 or so all up. The panel work would be be around $1400-ish. VERY DISSAPOINTED!

This will probably sound ruder than it's meants to be but that's probably because I'll just say it straight

Have you actually told them that you're upset about the way they're carrying on? If it were me, I would tell them straight to their faces how ungrateful you feel they're acting. No point telling everyone but them. True friends will understand where you're coming from. Tell them straight out! And if they make a scene about it, hand the car back to them and walk away. Yeah you'll possibly lose the friendship but if they don't understand your reasons of anger about this, then is this friendship really anything to lose?

Personally though, if it was me, I tell you what, friendship or not, I'd snap. I'm not telling you to do that LOL but I would. My problem is once I've cracked it, I've cracked it! Nothing and no-one can change my mind. I'd take that damn car back and have it out not have it out then hand the car back. But as I said, that's me. Not always a good thing. I crack it, cause a scene and (only in some cases) sit back and think, why did I do that LOL.

Anyway, I don't know what your personality is. It may differ from mine lol. If you're the type to speak your mind then do so. You've done them a HUGE favour. You don't deserve this from them in return. It's disrespectful to you and an insult to the hard work you have done for them. Either speak to them about it, in what ever manner suits your personality or let it go. As I said, no point telling everyone but them.

I think very carefully before I do favours for anyone anymore as I've been burnt many times by friends, partners and family. My weariness of people has turned me partially cold and truth is, it's also turned me into a b|tch, because I have had so many people use me, and because I use to shut my mouth and not complain, it made me an angry person within. Because I decided I wasn't going to put up with people using me anymore, people perceived me as a b|tch and still do. Do I care? Nope! Because at the end of the day, I've said what I had to, it's off my chest and not built up and I feel better knowing I stopped yet another person treating me like an idiot

You have 2 choices. Confront your friends or let it go and continue being as angry as you (obviously) are.

Krissy

[The Yeti]

Or the best ones, are the ones you bust a gut for, like the mate whos car you band aid at 11pm on a Sunday night so they can get to work in the morning then duck out in you lunch brake on Monday to get the parts to fix it properly Monday night.

After this when it comes time for a paying job, one you could do in your sleep, they take it to an "expert" becasue they need it doen "properly". its justis when the car sh:ts its self again on a sunday but unfortunatly you must have missed there call .

This happend with my brother in law recently, fortunatly my wife was in the shower when the call came so she didnt see me just let it ring and ring.

[paule11]

Originally Posted by DOC

Sure it must pee you off, and it's just not cars, this would apply to anything, but guess what you probably will help the next person and you may get another kick in the guts, but one day you help the right person who will really appreciate it. Just remember when ou offer to help people it is done with no expectation of reward and can and does come with a kick in the bum every now and then.

Part of my mission statement used to read " to help people less fortunate than myself" but like ou i got kicked in the guts most times, and i most cases ( after a while i learnt ) these people just used the kindness of others or were to lazy, so i changed it to " to help others less fortunate than myself in genuine need " it helped to weed a few out but you still get the odd person who throws it back at you, but regardless soldier on for the one good complimenteven though your not looking for it.

Doc thats the right attitude to have eventually after doing the right thing by people you get the right thing done to you.

Its very easy to get angry but sometimes when you are using your skills to help others because they cannot do the work or are not capable they have no comprehension of what time and effort is involved .

I remember when I was an apprentice a mate turns up at my house an hour before sunset showed me a stereo he brought and 4 speakers after I said it looked like good stuff he said install it .

With half an hour of sun left he couldnt understand why I couldnt do it in that time.

When I installed it later on he helped out seeing what was involved changed his attitude .

[nugget378]

Happened to me many times,ive lost count of how many times ive renewed the sewers due to tree roots collapsing the line,or got the new bathroom reno done for friends quickly,so they could use the bathroom again in their new houses,all for free labour.
Felt sorry for the mrs and young kiddies,worked for days 12 hours straight or more to get them sorted...
Well time comes that Im building a house and do you think I can get a hand from most of em,not likely,mind you I wont ask outright,just drop a few hints and see if they offer,as soon as its mentioned,out comes the "work is so busy" bla bla bla all that typeof crap, so no point putting them on the spot with a "but what about what I did" arguement,hey I was busy too,and left paying customers waiting to help out.
From now on,the hourly rate is 20% higher for jobs for them, and materials will be price loaded,and no quotes, will all be on a do and charge basis,ill get some of that back at least.
I have no doubt some will want stuff done again,their onto a good thing in their mind,I cant wait to see the look when they get the bill...

[Billy351]

That's why I don't have friends and keep family to a minimum

[paule11]

in this world your lucky if you have one true friend

[pauljh74]

I do a little bit of computer stuff for friends/family and have now cut back on that list. I helped a friend of a friend with his PC (reload windows etc). 2 weeks later it came back - same problems, his girlfriend's brother was going to certain websites and that was depositing all sorts of rubbish on the PC. 2nd time he promises to get me something for my trouble and I never hear anything after that. A former friend of mine who usually rang me up when he wanted something once tried to get me to sell a graphics card I was going to sell for less than I wanted for it and also come over to his place and install it. I conveniently "forgot" to let him know my new phone number when I moved a few years ago and haven't heard from him since. Another friend of mine came to his senses sooner than I did and gave him the flick about 15 years ago.
I helped my aunt with her PC - but that was family - it was frustrating as she is a complete PC Noob. At least she appreciates the time I put in.

[Addz08]

I've lost count of how many cartons i,m owed, so I don,t bother anymore..

[fordxrtfan]

Have learnt the hard way that doing jobs on the cheap for friends is a no win situation unless definate figures/rules/guidelines etc are all up front.
Hope you sort it out mate

[TUF_302]

What pricks! So what are they actually complaing about??

[The Yeti]

THe chances are you said, they only have ot pay for materials, and they figured great, we'll get this sorted for next to nothing, the chances are you charged them for the stuff you had to buy but not the stuff you already had arround the place.

My Mrs is great for situations like this she is an absolute tight when it come to cars and cant justfiy spending any thing on them except for rego petrol and oil, so if I go get stuck doing this sort of thing shen makes me (and i mean makes) me confirm with the peron they are ok to spend the money on what ever. it has stoped potential problems though as more than once I have rang them form the parts store to confim thatthe trade price for a pair of rotors and front pads was OK with them only to be told um ge cant you get it any cheaper etc, at which point i tell them, perhaps you should organise the parts your self and I'll take care of it then.

The other one, is when you ring them form the parts store and tell them how much, and you get the cant you get it 2nd hand, or they ask you to go some where like Pick and Pay Less (I hate that over priced garbge pile), sorry if I got there you pay more and I do the job twice, again the solution you get the bits I'll do it then