Port Adelaide Maths Exam

[Riksta]

Sorry if its a repost, probably been done for other places too.


1. If Chad Cornes head is 20cm up his a*se, and he wedges it a
further 5cm, how much of his neck can you see?

2. If Mark Williams has gained 25kg in the last year and he has
eaten 450 pies in that time, how much weight has put on per pie?
(Bonus point)
How many pies are left over for Stuart Dew?

3. If there are 30,000 Power fans at AAMI stadium and 10,000 cars
are stolen, how many are Commodores?

4. If a Power fan drinks 15 cans of Woodstock during a match and Port
lose, how many times will he hit his wife?

5. If Daniel Motlop has a set shot 15m out after the siren to win the
game, which shop in West Lakes Mall will he hit?

6. If Alberton was to burn to ground completely, killing everyone in
the surrounding area, how much would the average IQ of South
Australia rise by?

7. If Byron Pickett rolled his car at a speed of 120km/h and his blood
alcohol level was .134, how much did he win on the pokies that night?

8. If Peter Burgoyne has slept with 5 women and 2 were consensual,
how many lawsuits will he face?

9. If 10,000 Port fans walk down a muddy path, how many different ugg
boot imprints will be seen?

10. An inanimate carbon rod is lined up against Matthew Bishop. How
many goals will the rod kick?

11. If Dean Brogan punches 8 people at the airport, how many policemen
will it take to subdue his chin?

12. If Warren Tredrea loses 8000 hairs on his head per year, how many
years until he looks like Nigel Smart?

13. If a Port fan has 7 kids to 5 different fathers, work out the combined
total she will get from:
a) child support;
b) baby bonus;
c) dole cheque;
d) Centrelink fraud and
e) car theft.

14. If two season tickets cost $350, how many dodgy Workcover claims
will you have to file to get them?

15. How many stolen TV's will you have to trade in at Cash Converters
to buy enough teal paint to hot up your Gemini?

16. If 2000 Port fans travel to Elizabeth for a Centrals game and Port
lose by 1 point, how long will the ensuing race riots last for?

17. If the Power have 50,000 fans and only 1500 turn up to Port Magpies
games, how many are pathetic bandwagoners?

18. If Kane Cornes fell to the ground like a girl 0.3 seconds after Barry Hall threatened to punch him, how many times did he himself in those 0.3 seconds?

19.Sharon, a lifelong Port supporter, sits with the Power cheersquad behind the goals. If she has taken out an Apprehended Violence Order against Darryl, her second husband, how far down the wing will he have to sit so as to not breach the restraining order?

[SPK-250]

Yeah the crows suck too mate!

[FORD3V]

Go back to the southern suburbs where you belong mate.........

Maybe we could start a crow's one about choking,is it three or four years in a row they have completely blown it in the finals????????????? :

[jd dad]

some funny stuff in there, bit of a sore spot with a few though. lol

[uranium_death]

These questions are open ended. This means there is no one correct answer.

I should have submitted this at Uni last year for Ed-Maths

[opto]

The maths questions were offered to Riksta, too hard for him , put them on the Forum, may get 1 right answer.

Grow up and hate the Crows, you know you want to.

[FORD3V]

Originally Posted by opto

The maths questions were offered to Riksta, too hard for him , put them on the Forum, may get 1 right answer.

Grow up and hate the Crows, you know you want to.

That will give "riksta" something to think about when he head's down to centrelink to pick up his dole cheque,and then onto the bottle'o to stock up on west end tinnies for the hard week on the couch ahead of him....... :baby bott .

You can sit back, crack open another tinnie and think about another wasted crows season........

[|||]

ugh south australia.

arguing over port adelaide vs adelaide is like arguing over whether dog poop or cat poop tastes better

[FORD3V]

Originally Posted by |||

ugh south australia.

arguing over port adelaide vs adelaide is like arguing over whether dog poop or cat poop tastes better

Why dont you enlighten us on which taste's better?

[blueoval]

pure GOLD

[Riksta]

OK for the record I don't really follow AFL, but when it comes to supporting an Adelaide team I prefer Port Adelaide over the Crows.

I'm sorry if this offended people as evidenced by a couple of responses it has received, I thought most people would be able to get a laugh but obviously this was the wrong place to post it.

I honestly didn't mean to offend or annoy anyone with it, I didn't realise how personal some people would take it.

Perhaps an admin can lock this now to prevent further warring of the factions.

[Tuddy200]

Originally Posted by Riksta

3. If there are 30,000 Power fans at AAMI stadium and 10,000 cars are stolen, how many are Commodores?

Depends what you're asking here an who stole them.

If it's asking how many of the 10,000 cars were commodores, then 0, no one is that stupid to steal something they can get for 5 cents and a bottle whiskey at the auctions.

If it's asking how many of the 30,000 were commodores, then most likily 3. 29,997 others broke down on the way to the stadium and they had to walk the rest of the 10km trip and the three that got there belonged to the players and are sitting on tow trucks.

If whoever stole the cars wanted to just thrash it and wrap themselves into a pole they'd be polite and take the commodores because 10,000 less commodores in this country isn't going to get anyone teary whereas hurting a beautiful peice machinary like a Ford would be worse then the world coming to an end.

Then again, I thought everyone drove around in Skylines, and Land Rovers over there? :

[montyv8]

c'mon, as if adelaide AFL followers can even read well enough to do that test....

especially those from Port Adelaide.

[SPK-250]

I thought it was very funny. But i bloody hate the crows and all their frosted spiky tip goodness.

[BENT_8]

You forgot this one.

If Pt Adelaide gave Adelaide a 5 goal headstart at AAMI stadium this saturday afternoon how much would Port win by?

Oh thats right Adelaide are crap and couldn't beat Hawthorn so it will never happen :

[XW 393]

Someone make one for Geelong, PLEASE !!!