Some advice for "Pre-teen" Parents

[Geez Louise]

A friend of mine gave me some great advice many years ago and we always threatened our eldest son (21) with it when he was younger but a few weeks ago I got to put it to the test.

Our other son who is 12 (going on 30) started high school this year and within a few short weeks our angelic boy had turned into nothing short of “Chuckie”

The once timid child, started back chatting, not cleaning his room, basically refusing to do anything he was asked. So after yet another argument of “You never let me do anything! I am not a little kid anymore” he was sent to his room, where he, like many “Pre-teen” kids, decided best way to make his point, would be to slam his bedroom door.

This was the final straw!! Nothing had worked. Banning him from the computer, PS3, T.V, removing phone privileges…nothing had worked. So this is where my friend’s great idea came in!

My husband, “Chuckie’s” father, removed his bedroom door!! and placed it in the shed. Nothing says “You have no privacy until you behave” then this drastic step!

Let me just say, that within a few short days, his behaviour changed drastically. “Chuckie” seems to have disappeared and today he is getting his door back..

So don’t get mad and lose your temper with your “Pre-teen” Get Even! Take the door!!

[gtfpv]

HAHA , classic . stored in memory banks , as my 9 year old daughter , has recently starteed door slamming , and the 7 year old footy watching , womanising , swearing 7 year old, back chatting know all boy. may need a little of this to come .
cheers .

[MotherNatureVer2]

Excellent stuff ...... I actually threatened to do that to now 16yr old daughter ....... wish I had have done it. Although my threat was I was going to hang a curtain as she couldn't slam a curtain ...... I could NOT have bared to look at her room constantly without a door there.

Were going through a Mexican stand off at the moment with 14yr old step daughter ...... she refuses to do anything & so am I ..... well I am doing our washing & cleaning but Im sure she will get the picture when her clothes are not washed nor folded, when she hasnt any fuel for her bike and when she has to walk the 5k's into town to visit her mates . She cant slam her door as its a sliding one ....... hehehehe .......

I pity the youngest ...... we will have been through every attitude known to man from a teenager by the time he gets there ....... even at 8 he tries to put it on but we just laugh.

gtfpv .... when you laugh at the you make sure they know its NOT with them ..... it frustrates them when they realise that your not stressed about their crap :P

[atec77]

Originally Posted by Geez Louise

A friend of mine gave me some great advice many years ago and we always threatened our eldest son (21) with it when he was younger but a few weeks ago I got to put it to the test.

Our other son who is 12 (going on 30) started high school this year and within a few short weeks our angelic boy had turned into nothing short of “Chuckie”

The once timid child, started back chatting, not cleaning his room, basically refusing to do anything he was asked. So after yet another argument of “You never let me do anything! I am not a little kid anymore” he was sent to his room, where he, like many “Pre-teen” kids, decided best way to make his point, would be to slam his bedroom door.

This was the final straw!! Nothing had worked. Banning him from the computer, PS3, T.V, removing phone privileges…nothing had worked. So this is where my friend’s great idea came in!

My husband, “Chuckie’s” father, removed his bedroom door!! and placed it in the shed. Nothing says “You have no privacy until you behave” then this drastic step!

Let me just say, that within a few short days, his behaviour changed drastically. “Chuckie” seems to have disappeared and today he is getting his door back..

So don’t get mad and lose your temper with your “Pre-teen” Get Even! Take the door!!

You have been lucky , one of mine thought he could out muscle me one day and in an aberration took a swipe , he failed to impress and a couple of seconds later the realities bit home , those who know me find it difficult to believe a teen would try .. he is now 30 something and grew some common sense . We were all stupid when youngsters and the only cure is life it's self.

[Geez Louise]

Unfortunately Mother Nature, the not washing his clothes bit wouldn't work for us...he is a boy after all. They eat dirt and think it tastes good!! I think the prospect of him trolling around in days in the same stinky clothes would be something of a reward to him.

[gtfpv]

my little beer drinking ( just kidding) womanising, footy expert , cricket watching golf playing , soccer expert , V8 SUPERCAR FREEK, future racing driver, holden hater , wanted to play footy with me 2 days ago, he always has to win , or spits the dummy. anyhow he gets full on and give 110% whatever he does , by the way we have boxing tornaments too, and he likes to beat the crap out of me ,
anyhow we were playing footy , i tackled him and a quick GET FOOKED , CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH. so i just walked inside , game over . i had to hold my laughing back though .
GOD HELP anyone who tries to put it over this lad .
none of us follows footy at home , accept him , he sits there by himself in another room , throwing comments back at the telly, about knock ons etc . the only thing he is missing is a bit of skirt and a can of tooheys .
unbelievable . i swear he has a ute out the front full of bricks for his next job .

[ELtim]

My Dad did this to me when I was 14. My brother had recently moved out so why my parents weren't home I moved everything in my bedroom into the spare room.

[MITCHAY]

I got a good belting from my dad if I did anything wrong and that worked good enough for me :

[montyv8]

back in my 'early-teens' (sorry, pre-teen just sounds wrong) I got in an arguement with my parents, thought it was a top idea to slam my door..
only issue was i forgot about the nail in the back of the door that usually had my heavy jacket on it.. put my hand on the door, slammed it, 8mm flat head of the nail went right into my hand.. was just as painfull pulling my hand back off it..

never slammed that door again.

[gtfpv]

Originally Posted by MITCHAY

I got a good belting from my dad if I did anything wrong and that worked good enough for me :

me too. but when your a parent , some kids are differant . for example my daughter can get i smack across the back of the legs , which will cause a cry, a little retaliation, and that will cause her not to do it again .
my son on the other hand simply, will not cry when belted, no matter how far you go, so a long time ago, i decided a differant punishment is applicable to this boy, as a smack is more soul destroying to him than punishment .
they both know now , that they need to work to get what they need , and can be well rewarded , for hard work. they both do great at school, and the most important thing i drum into them everyday, is to be themselves, dont bow down to others. abide by the rules , and never hurt anyone else, or let anyone else hurt you. i'm proud of my son , as long as he respects the golden rules , if he swears or backchats he pays. he just hasnt had his room door removed as yet , but that may come when he gets a bit older. my daughter is getting to the stage where she almost doesnt need much guidence, but she gets it anyway. the boy, well he's starting to work it all out himself , if he sticks to the way he is , he will not be led down the garden path by others.

[Sam_Boss260]

Although slightly off topic... I don't have pre-teen kids, mine are 2 1/2 and 4. They are both going on 15. And I tell you the tandtrums that 4 year olds have now... wow.

What works for us is to "deal in their currency", ie what matters most to them. And I don't mean banning them from tv or anything, I throw it out. So when she played up I threatened to throw out here favoruite toy/doll whatever. She called my bluff and I actually threw it out. She freaked, but started listening.

Now, that is our leverage, and occasionaly we have to throw stuff out. It's also a good way to keep culling those damn toys that just walk in through the front door.

But Colleen, I like the removing door idea, keeping that one saved in memory for future use.

[Geez Louise]

Sam we did the same thing with our boys toys. They soon learn after one of their favs goes in the bin never to be seen again. Never could "smack" our kids....but that is not what this topic is about. Everyone raises their kids different. I just find that taking something they want off them works much better in the end.

Hey...12yr old just took out the recycling and is now vacuuming his room without being asked....Life is good!!

[gtfpv]

Originally Posted by Geez Louise

Hey...12yr old just took out the recycling and is now vacuuming his room without being asked....Life is good!!

BLAHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA !!! TO GOOD GEEZ LOUISE !!!

[weenie]

Holy crap no door!!! no privacy when bashing the bishop over a porn magazine. Is there no god??

[irlewy86]

Thats nothing, when I was 14 my old man just moved my whole bedroom onto the back veranda.


Mind you not having to get out of bed to p**s or spit was pretty good. Shame about the mozzies though.

[fmc351]

Wow, I read that title all wrong...

[Sam_Boss260]

Originally Posted by irlewy86

Thats nothing, when I was 14 my old man just moved my whole bedroom onto the back veranda.


.

THAT'S GOLD !!!

[FlipXW]

Originally Posted by MITCHAY

I got a good belting from my dad if I did anything wrong and that worked good enough for me :

Same 'ere when I was young. I've turned out great. Nothing wrong with a smacking to bring your kid into line. Never been grounded in my life. My parents and I have a great relationship.

Originally Posted by weenie

Holy crap no door!!! no privacy when bashing the bishop over a porn magazine. Is there no god??

Holy crap that funny, I was thinking the same thing. The lads about that age that he discovers the thing between his legs. With no door of course he will behave.

[Geez Louise]

Hence why I think it has worked so well. This parent wasn't born last century...Hang on! Yes I was!!

[DBourne]

i gotta say, that door trick is tops! and unless you were born in 2000, you weren't boring in this century :P

[F6T]

Reminds me of when I was a teenager (I just turned 30...bleh) and my mother embarrased me in front of my new girlfriend by describing in detail what my wingwang looked like when I was a kid.

I was so mad I went out to my bedroom and put my fist through the door.

Dad didn't say a word. Just came out with the power drill, took the door off and that was it....I wasn't to have a door if I couldn't respect the home that I was in and how hard he had worked to put a roof over my head - no matter how angry I was.

Didn't get another door until abouit 2 years later. After a few months mum started feeling sorry for me and allowed me to put up a sheet over the door and promised not to tell dad (my father NEVER came out into our end of the house - it was a big house - 7 kids).

What really ground my gears was that my older brother (the first born son) got drunk, crashed his ford ute whilst under the influence, was lucky there was no oncoming traffic and that he didn't kill or seriously injure himself, walked home, passed out on his bed and left mum and dad to explain how a ute in their name has crashed on the side of the road encroaching on morning traffic and was abandoned.

Their punishment was to buy him a brand new ute..... :

My father told me a long time ago, "son, there is no such thing in life as fair ".

[uranium_death]

Originally Posted by Geez Louise

I think the prospect of him trolling around in days in the same stinky clothes would be something of a reward to him.

Agreed. When I was in Prep (1990) at school I played in the mud and got mud all over myself...and I couldn't have been happier.

Boys love mud, dirt, and snot.

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by weenie

Holy crap no door!!! no privacy when bashing the bishop over a porn magazine. Is there no god??

pmsl GOLD. Spanking the Frank when your a teen boy was why living as a teenage lad was all about.

[DBourne]

Originally Posted by blueoval

pmsl GOLD. Spanking the Frank when your a teen boy was why living as a teenage lad was all about.

teenager? doesnt end there!

[Daymoe]

I know whats good for me, so i don't cause for my parents ;)

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by SgtBourne

teenager? doesnt end there!

OMG dude, waaaaaay too much info.... lalalalalalala not listening lalalalala must get visual images of the Sarge flogging the log outta my head lalalalalalala :

[MotherNatureVer2]

Being mum to a 13yr old boy & step mum to a 17yr old who both live here....... I am NOT taking the door off now ......... the mental images just are not right :P

[blueoval]

hahaha. poor mother nature. Your in for a treat if you 'accidentally' walk in on them one night without knocking. lol

[ELtim]

Originally Posted by blueoval

hahaha. poor mother nature. Your in for a treat if you 'accidentally' walk in on them one night without knocking. lol

My Mum did that to me when I was with my ex-girlfriend.

After that I built my own locking system. A rope between my door handle and my tv cabinet.

Grounding has never worked in my family. Parents would ground us and as soon as they turn around we'd walk out the front door.

[FlipXW]

Originally Posted by MotherNature

Being mum to a 13yr old boy & step mum to a 17yr old who both live here....... I am NOT taking the door off now ......... the mental images just are not right :P

Bit of advice, even if you knock when the door is closed, give atleast 5 seconds before opening. Just in case ;) .